hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
