doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
