piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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