I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize