ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
