ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
What a dumb baby whore.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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