WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize