he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
