my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
