good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
