how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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