He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
