A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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