isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
