And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
