Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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