people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
