Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
