i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
