Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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