Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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