I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
