we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have feelings that need drinking.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize