GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
