shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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