Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize