i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
