she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize