She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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