i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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