don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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