My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
