Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You did what with his pubic hair?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
