hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
