No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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