Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
