Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
