Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize