Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
