Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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