Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There r osticjed everywhere
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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