I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize