KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
