Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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