i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
