you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
