I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize