She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
