Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
