omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
