what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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