dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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