google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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