I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
