just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
