dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
