That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize