I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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