I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
