she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
