So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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