u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
