been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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