Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize