We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
