i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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